Anonymous (via jdvlla)
Next time a blocked number calls you answer like this: “Jim’s whore house. You got the dough, we got the hoe.”
Why does this not have any notes?
lol no “Nashville sperm bank, you squeeze it we freeze it. how may I help you?”
“Henderson’s Morgue, you stab em, we slab em, this is Eight Ball speaking.”
“Texas crematorium you kill ‘em we grill ‘em how can I direct your call?”
can we start a club for teenagers who were constantly complimented on their intelligence when they were younger and are now having trouble coping with the realization that they’re actually of average intellect at best
can this club have a support person that helps us to study because we didn’t need to before so we don’t know how to now
Stop sexualizing my body stop shaming my body stop policing my body
It seems like cats never forgot the fact that they were worshipped as gods thousands of years ago
i apparently go to bird school
which is for birds
gODDAMNIT this post always getS TINY FUCKING BURSTS OF notes when will the carnage stop
This is me, Eliza Thornberry, part of your average family. I’ve got a dad, a mom, and a sister. There is Donnie - we found him. And Darwin, he found us. Oh yeah, about our house - it moves, because we travel all over the world. You see, my dad hosts this nature show, and my mom shoots it. Okay, so we’re not that average. And between you and me, something amazing happened… and now I can talk to animals. It’s really cool, but totally secret. And you know what? Life’s never been the same.
When you haven’t watched this show in literally 7 years and can still read this in your head in her exact voice, and remember what parts to emphasise…
This is one of my most favorite endings to a Disney movie, hands down.
Fuck the sword of a Hun who was going to destroy China. Fuck any sort of gift from the Emperor. They’re these *things* that have no meaning whatsoever.
His little girl is home from a *war*, safe and sound, and that is the most important thing in the world to him. The world can go to hell, but it doesn’t matter, because Mulan’s home.
this scene ALWAYS makes me cry
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